Overcoming a Traumatic Birth
my baby and while it would be difficult, fear would make it worse. When labour proved beyond my pain threshold I was surprised and anxious about accepting pain relief. Things quickly spiralled out of hand. All of a sudden I was on a conveyor belt. Procedures were done without explanation and without my consent. It was no surprise that I ended up with an emergency caesarean section. I had wanted to avail of the early transfer home scheme but was admitted to a semi-private ward. Having been ignored, undermined, belittled and bullied during labour and birth I was in shock. It is hard to believe but things got even worse. Staff in the maternity hospital treated me with so little respect. I was tearful, angry, and extremely vulnerable. I was unable to bond with my son, I believe I was in shock. When I think back of those first few days, I feel no joy or elation about my beautiful son. I desperately wanted to breast feed but met with resistance at every occasion. I didn’t receive any help with latching despite numerous requests. I was told the midwives couldn’t help me and to start pumping or to give my baby formula. Even after the Lactation Consultant left I was told my son was a big baby and he needed formula! I couldn’t understand why my experience had been so awful. I was told to pull myself together so often that I thought I was a failure and I simply couldn’ t cope. I thought I had to simply forget what had happened and just get on with it. I cried so often those first few weeks. Breastfeeding was proving insurmountable. I felt like I had failed to birth my son and now I was failing to feed him. The stress was unbearable. People kept telling me that I was lucky that I had a beautiful son wasn’t it worth it. I felt like shouting “What about me?” I knew I had been treated badly but I couldn’t put my finger on any one thing. And then I found AIMS. When I realised I wasn’t alone and that my experience had been horrendous I started to feel better. Other women had been hurt the way I was. But I was afraid of making a scene, in case it affected the level of care I would receive if I ever needed this hospital again. In the end I understood that this is not a good enough reason to allow myself to be treated badly. If I didn’t complain it could happen again, to me or to my sisters, my friends, my daughters if I have any. I drafted a letter of complaint to the Maternity Hospital and received a swift reply asking us to meet the Master. I was afraid that I would get emotional and would be dismissed as a silly woman. AIMS helped me enormously. They gave me the confidence to articulate myself based on the facts, not only vague perceptions of being badly treated. I strode in to that meeting ready to take on the world. They tried to deflect my concerns but thanks to AIMS I knew where I stood. In the end I received a profound apology from the Master and an unreserved apology from the Senior Midwife. I can’t tell you how much this has helped me heal. To have my feelings vindicated is such a relief. I realise that birth shouldn’t be like that and I can plan to make it better next time. Without AIMS there never would never have been a next time!"
I was admitted to the Hopsital on Friday 2nd June 2006 with Pre-Elcampsia. Up to this point my blood pressure was always normal. The care I received for the 4 weeks after this was second to none. I was induced on Thursday 29th June 2006 at 11pm as my blood pressure had rose to a dangerous level.! They also included my husband in eveything. I was moved to my delivery suite shortly after this and was been monitored every 5-10 minutes, I was given the epidural at 2.30pm and also gave oxytocin. I wasn't dilating at all after 2-3 cm. My babys heart rate dropped to 40 and it was a student midwife (Niamh Fallon) that spotted this. I was told at this point that I was been emergency sectioned, the whole time that this was happening the atmosphere was brilliant as they were getting me prepped for theatre, Ken was brought off to be gowned, everyone was saying "oh baby’s coming Carol are you all set"! Got to theatre and everyone made me feel so relaxed, not once did I feel scared or worried. Ken was made feel so at ease as well and saw our son been born. Jack was born a health 6lbs 8ozs. The after care was unreal on the ward, they took Jack at night to let me sleep even if it was only for 3 hours or so. It made such a difference. I never once felt that I was stupid or anything asking questions, I would definatly have no problem attending the Hospital again - they are saints."
me really damaged. I was induced by having my waters broken, things were going really well, I had my epidural and was fully dialated in 5 hrs. I started pushing and after about 40 minutes the head started to come. I am not sure what happened but I tore really really badly. My daughter was born and I was taken to the theater to get fixed up. I had quite severe injury. I was not going to have another baby but after talking to my doctor and friends I realised that what had happened to me was not common. I was delighted to find myself pregnant last year!!!!! All through my pregnancy I toyed with the idea of how I wanted my baby's birth to happen. I was terrified of tearing again and got alot of information and support from my Consultant. My consultant told me that they would prefer that I have a vaginal birth but after my injury the last time that they fully understood if I chose to have a Cesarean section. At 35 weeks I had decided. I requested a Cesarean and my consultant told me at 39 weeks I would be given a date. At my 39 week appointment I was told to come in that Thursday for my Cesarean! It was a really weird feeling to 'know' the day I would have my baby. I knew we were having another girl also so I did feel that all the 'surprises' of the pregnancy were lost...it did feel a bit strange. But I was so relaxed and for the first time in a long time, the nightmares and feelings from my first daughters birth were gone. On Friday morning I went in with my husband and we went through the paperwork and waited for a room to become available. I had to wait longer than expected due to an emergency cesarean and I admit it gave my nerves time to kick in a little bit! When the time came we all went in. It was so different to being in a delivery suite! All the nurses and doctors were so relaxed and we were all chatting and having the craic. My husband came in and then my consultant. Everyone started smiling..I couldn't see their mouths but you could tell by their eyes and my consultant said "Are you ready to meet your baby?" I welled up a little bit and gulped back "Yep!" After a few minutes with some pulling my beautiful girl was born! We had a name picked out for her but it didn't suit her at all! So we asked the room "Anyone know any nice girl's names?" - It was such a laugh!! My husband took my daughter for her first baba while I went to the recovery. It all felt so different from the first time - I was relaxed and happy and had a warm glow and excitement that I didn't get the first time. I went down to the ward shortly after and the first image I remember was my husband cooing to my new baby. He looked up and saw me and said "there's mammy" and they helped me to the bed. The staff were brilliant. The midwives helped me a lot the first night and even took the baby for a little while as it was really quiet. They also made sure I had a supply of formula close by so I didn't have to get up or move about much. I recovered really quickly - much more so than the first. I know its not for everyone but I am 100% positive I made the best decision for me to choose a cesarean. Any further children will be born the same way, Please God. Oh - and her name... well didn't we end up naming her after one of the nurses! We loved her name so much we decided to use it! I hope this helps other mams who might be in the same situation. I was so scared of a cesarean but in the end it was the best option for me. Very Best to all the preggy mams out there! xxx T Breech Birth The story of Féilim’s birth My edd was the 13th of May 2007 by my own estimate but by scan dates etc I was due on the 6th of May - and went 13 days over! It was a horrible time because the baby, my dear son now known as Feilim, was breech and even though I had been promised a trial of labour by Dr who is in overall charge of those kind of decisions for the Domino midwives who were my primary carers, I knew I was facing a possible C-section. Having had dd 2 years ago with just gas and air I was hoping to go the same this time ... anyway at my term + 12 scan in hst on fri the 18th I was delighted to be told I could be induced by A.R.M on sun the 20th if nothing had happened - apparently it is quite unusual to allow a breech induction. 'course they'd only leave my 24hrs after that before sectioning me but at least the wait would be over. As it happened I woke up at 2.30am on Saturday the 19th thinking I had to pee and as my sacrum has been really, really sore I thought I hadn't made it out of the bedroom in time and had let my bladder go - oh the indignities of it all! Once I made it to the bathroom the clear liquid just kept coming so I knew it was my waters, and was glad this was the beginning at last and a little apprehensive about the rest 'cos dd took a while to come. I needn't have worried - at 3.30 I had to call dh, who had only gone to bed at 2.30am as I was getting up, and at 4am I was down in the sitting room directing him between contractions - "get chart", "in kitchen" (in response to "where is it"), "phone h* st", "community midwives", "phne my parents" (who were to look after dd) - QUICK!! I couldn't believe it when I began to feel the pressure and the contractions changed to pushing ones - it was just so fast! At 4.45 my folks arrived - I was in the back seat of the car at this stage and dh wanted to go and they could let themselves in but in betweenit all I needed to know they were at the house with dd before I could leave. When we got to HSt at 5.12 (from my chart) I was really wanting to push and would have laughed (if I could) when the lovely Community Midwife who was helping me off with my tracksuit 5 mins later got the fright of her life when she saw the baby's bottom coming out of mine!! Dh neglected to tell her the baby was breech, figuring one Community Midwife will know what the others do BUT this one was on the Wicklow team, Dublin team were mine, and she had been on nights for a few nights and hadn't been in the office to see my name in capitals on their blackboard as overdue and breech! Well the room just filled with people as if by magic and I was up and pushing with a midwife at each knee and a registrar between them!! Ds was born at 5.28, 11 mins after we got into the labour room, breech and all. Had to have an episitomy but I knew that was on the cards 'cos with a breech it is v. important to get the head out as quickly as possible. Ds was whisked away after one second on my tummy - again I had known that would happen 'cos breech babies have to be checked immediately - he was only over in a corner of the room with a paediatrician and we could see him the whole time, and in the meantime the placenta came out with one push and I was attended to by the registrar. Apparently his stitching is legendary in the hospital, all the midwives were saying he does the neatest work!!! I never enjoyed any cup of tea or slice of toast as much as those I had at around 6 am that morning. Dh, me and ds on our own in the bright sunny room, bonding. We didn't even have clothes or a nappy for him, 'cos we left the bag in the car in our hurry not to have him born in it! But he was lovely, wrapped up in white and blue, calmly taking us in and sizing us up. Hope everyone else has as nice an experience. ********************************************************************************************************************************************* Birth after Infertility I'm delighted to be able to tell you about my positive pregnancy and birth story. I was a patient in an infertility clinic suffering from endometriosis for almost 2 years before I became pregnant. We never gave up hope but those years as you can imagine were quite tough at times. At all stages of our treatment the care we got was exceptional. After we discovered that I was pregnant we joined an anti natal clinic and every midwife/ nurse or Doctor we met over the course of the next 8 months was lovely and always had an encouraging word for us!! All of my scans were explained to us and the nurse always took the time to point out baby's arms, legs etc. Towards the end of my pregnancy I was admitted to hospital on several occasions suffering from mild toximia and high blood pressure. It was a very trying time for us as we were very worried about our baby but the staff who cared for me during this time were very considerate of my feelings and always took the time to aleviate any concerns. I went into labour at 36weeks and arrived at the hospital at about 12pm on 6th July 06 a midwife met me at reception and took me up to the labour ward. She examined me and took me straight to the delivery suite. Once there a mid wife introduced herself and gained my confidence and eased my nerves in one sentence. "Hi my name is Sunita and I'm going to take care of you until you have your baby, I wont leave you until the baby is born and I will be with you for every contraction you have, so don't be afraid because we'll do this together". Even now 15moths later I have a lump in my throat reading that!!!! Sunita stayed with me and there were times I didn't know what I'd have done without her! She encouraged me not to have an epidural but respected my decision to go ahead with one (although as soon as I had it I was 10cm so she was right!!) Sunita encouraged my partner to become very involved in the delivery to the extent that he still believes he delivered our son!!!! Our boy arrived on 6th July 06 at 16.27hr weighing 6lbs 11oz and he is the light of our life!! I can't thank the hospital enough for enabling us to have our baby in a calm caring environment and of course for the magic tea and toast after!!! I'm pregnant again now and due on 15th June 08, I'm just hoping Sunita is on duty that day!!. ***************************************************************************************************************************
Helena – 4th baby Went into hospital on the Sat morning, to be induced...Was 39 + 2 and after first exam was told that I wasnt really that favourable so got gel...at 11.am.. Started getting contraction about 12 is so thought yeah here we go.. Started walking everywhere.. Contractions were lasting about 35 seconds and coming every 2/3 mins..but would taper off if I sat down. Kept walking....Bumped into the same midwife that delivered my daughter and son..had a chat and said see you later! About 4pm Had another internal, I was told that I was 2 cm..but they couldn’t break my waters as the baby’s head kept bouncing back and they didn’t want to risk trapping the cord...fair enough, keep walking... About 6.30pm, was getting a tad bit tired.(I woke up at 5am that morning)Contractions were still same length and 2 minutes apart... and I asked for an internal to see how I was getting on...Was told your 3 cm, congrats your in labour and Off I go to the delivery ward...was 7.10pm I get assigned the Nicest student midwife in the world...Helena (She was so friendly and warm and funny that I'll never forget her...I hope if she ever sees this she won’t mind me naming her.....) And have a chat with the Senior Midwife, Helen...who delivered my first daughter and son ...She is the best midwife in the world and if your lucky enough to get her, you are in very safe hands !!!! So...The Two Helena's (Me and the Midwife) spend the next hour and a half walking the corrider, bouncing on the birthing ball and laughing ourselves silly, between doing traces on baby’s heartbeat.......at about 8.20pm I started getting fairly tired again, and asked Helena if we could speed things up a bit or give me pain relief...(I asked them...they never suggested anything .. it was all me making the decisions... Very empowering.. but with lots of pain !) So...they call another midwife and explain that I have a lot of water, and that baby is not staying down, they can push on my bump to keep baby down and break the waters...or I could just wait until contractions got stonger ... Was my decision... So I asked them to break the waters ..It was 8.50pm I was 3cms... It was a bit uncomfortable, but after a few minutes I flooded the place...There was water everywhere...and they attached a scalp monitor, again, they asked me if I wanted this, I said yes...(My history plays a big role in this, and it was essential to me and the midwifes that we could trace the heartbeat...The belt kept losing the trace, and was freaking everyone out when they couldn’t pick up heartbeat...) So I stand up so they can change the sheets...and after a few seconds the contractions hit me...I asked immediately if I could get back on the bed...The Senior midwife said that she would be back in half an hour or so...give the old cervix a chance to get ready.... Ha!!!!! At 9.05pm, The Student midwife starts saying her goodbyes, she finished her shift at 9 and introduced me to her replacement, another lovely girl, Loretta...I looked at them and said...I gotta push... I was in flipping agony !!! They both said...No..dont push..I said I gotta push...Hubby is saying pant pant pant..I say I gotta push..2nd student midwife runs to get Senior midwife...I start trying to bear down...Hubby runs to Get Senior Midwife. He nearly slips in the fluid on the floor (!) and the Senior Midwife runs in… I say again.. I have to push!!!! She looks down and says,calm as you like, go ahead Helena. Three pushes later I’m holding baby Hannah!!!!! It was 9:14pm. I take one look at Hannah and start crying and laughing.......Hubby is wiping his eyes, laughing...and all the midwifes are grinning ear to ear... Hubby got to cut the cord...first time he did this...Then they take Hannah to weigh her and she started crying....9 pounds 11 ounces... 56 cms long.. The image of my first Daughter..which makes me cry again... That was it...we got a lovely cup of tea and the best custard creams in the world...and a daugther that clamped on my boob and refused to let go... Not a stitch in sight..and one very happy Mum now that the pain was over... So thats it...my very positive birth story...even though It wasn’t intervention free, I made all the decisions and was made feel like I was in charge of everything... And Having Helen deliver another one of my kids, was such a bonus.. I felt so safe with her! What are the odds of having the same part time midwife deliver 3 of your children over a 4 half year period ? Someone up there was looking after me... So, Thanks to the staff...From the moment I walked in the door to when I left, I had staff throwing themselves at me trying to help...I had two breastfeeding specialists come to see if I needed any help. I had a lovely selection of midwives and nurses offering their support. I had a VERY VERY positive experience in there. And I KNOW how lucky I am to be able to say that. Also, the place was spotless and the food was pretty good too! ============================== Laura’s birth – first baby Short version... birth plan = birth dream = greatest piece of fiction ever written! Long version... We went to Dublin for our routine antenatal appointment. We were seen second and met a new doctor... I have to admit I found her bed side manner a little rough and within minutes I was being admitted and was told that I was not going home without the baby... BP monitoring overnight and for induction on Friday or Saturday (depending on how the BP did over night)... BP was fine over night and when the doctors came around on Friday morning they talked induction and I asked for Saturday... and it was all decided. The doctor that I had met the day before organised a scan to check that the baby was OK... 10 minutes later I was in the scan room being told that the estimated weight of the baby was 8lb10oz by abdominal cirumference and 9lb10oz by head circ. Friday was the longest day of my life. It crawled by. Michael made plans to come up to Dublin for 8 the next morning. On Saturday morning I woke before 6 and got up for a shower not long after 6. I was so nervous it hurt. I went and cried in the shower. Michael arrived a little after 8 and we were taken to the labour and delivery suite. The plan for the day was... induction at 9am with Prostin gel placed next to the cervix... lie down for an hour and then move around AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE to get the cervix moving... after 6 hours another internal exam to see if anything happened with the cervix... with overdue first pregnancies the odds are fairly high that another prostin would be needed... so... in the Prostin went and after an hour I walked for Ireland! I wasn't officially allowed off the floor but to hell with that... I climbed stairs... I walked up and down the corridors finding brass plaques, marble busts and old portraits of former Masters of the hospital. There was another overdue first timer induced at the same time as me... we met her wandering on the corridor. I had to present myself every 15 minutes to have the babys heart rate monitored. After 4 hours I asked for a gym ball and either walked or bounced... the woman across the way was still wandering! After 6 hours the doctor came back and put in another Prostin into the wandering woman... then she came to me... I had made it to 1.5cm and had my waters broken... everyone was stunned and very impressed with the effect the walking had... I was then told that I had 3 hours to start contractions on my own (7.30) or they would hang Syntocin (Pitocin) to start them... the contractions started within 15 minutes!.. the woman across the way was not overly happy with having to wait another 6 hours. Michael and I connected up my TENS machine and got to work with the ball... when the contractions came we used the most spectacular visualisation to deal with the discomfort... we talked about what we were going to do with our pretty baby, what it would be dressed in, wrapped in, where we would go with it, who we would show it to... it was so fab and when they came to examine me at 8pm I was 4cm and was ready to be moved to the delivery suite. By 10 I was at 5am... at midnight I was still at 5cm! Because it was an induction and things had been going on for a while the doctor decided to hang up Syntocin and within an hour I was in agony. I opted for an epidural... it didn't work... they resited it... it didn't work... I was in AGONY!! I was lying in the bed, screaming that I wanted to push when a contraction came, unable to sit up because the pain was so bad... At 6am they examined me again and I was 8cm... I told them that I couldn't do another 2 cm... knowing that my sister had a CS made me feel that it was OK to say "I give up"... then in walked Ed! Ed is a consultant anaesthetist... he discussed the benefits and problems of resiting the epi again. I wasn't able to make decisions at that point... everything hurt so bad. I gave in and told him to do it... 20 minutes later I was sitting up in the bed chatting to anyone who would listen! An hour and a half later I was examined again and I was complete!! They were stunned. I napped for an hour and the nurse decided it was time to get started. I started pushing at 10 and at 11.05 the doctor was called for (I was over an hour and therefore the doctor had to make the decison)... In walked, Aoife, the doctor that had admitted me! They got me up into stirrups and they had me push more... at that point the most important thing in the entire world was that the baby MUST GET OUT NOW!! I got the baby's head far enough that a suction cup could be applied to the babys head and the delivery assisted... 3 pushes later I could hear the doctor cutting me!!... 3 pushes after that the head was out and people appeared from EVERYWHERE... legs out and up in the air... PUSH PUSH PUSH... WHOOSH... and there was this baby being plopped onto my chest, people were saying he & him and Michael was crying and snotting and kissing me and thanking me and telling me how proud he was of me. Then the problems began... Daniel was fine (Apgars of 9 & 10) but my placenta was stuck in there with superglue and NOTHING was getting it out. Daniel weighed in at 10lb10.5oz (after 6 weighings!) and everyone was stunned that I had gotten him out (with lots of help). The doctor who admitted me insisted that she would be the one to stitch me up but only after the placenta was out... over the next 30 minutes she came in and out of the room to see what the progress and one of the midwives made several attempts to get the placenta out. It was then decided that I would have to go to theater to have an MROP (manual removal of placenta). Again Aoife insisted on doing the procedure herself and off I went to theater! I lost 1 litre of blood and my haemoglobin went down to 6.2 (anything below 11 is anaemic!). I can't get over how fantastic the whole staff of the L&D were. I had written a birth plan where I listed what I would like and what I would like to avoid...
as possible. HAHAHAHA!! Above everything our main aim is to birth a healthy baby. Got that!! I would like: • foetal monitoring only when necessary. Once the Syntocin went up the monitoring was constant • to use a TENS machine for as long as it is beneficial. Got that! • to move about as much as possible, adopting different positions to facilitate my labour. Got that until the epidural went in. • to be able to eat and drink at will during labour. Not a chance... was in too much pain • for the baby to be placed on my stomach once it is born. Got that! • for all exams to be done with baby on my stomach/chest if possible. Nope... took too long to get him out! I would like to avoid, if possible: • the use an epidural. I had 3!! • having my waters broken artificially. Had that one too. • the use of medications to advance my labour or to deliver the placenta. Had that one too. • the use of forceps or ventuse during the second stage of labour. Had that one too! • an episiotomy & would appreciate direction by the midwifery staff to facilitate stretching ot my perineum Had that one too. • a caesarean section I AVOIDED THIS... YAY ME!! I understand that it may, ultimately, be impossible to avoid active intervention but would like for it to be discussed and the options be explored. The staff were an honour to work with. Finally, we would be delighted to have a student midwife participate in the labour and birthing of our baby. We had one for a little while. Birth with Epidural
Thought my waters broke (was 12 days overdue and due for a scan that day) and went straight to hospital. I was told that I wasn't ready yet but to go for my scan. They told me to go home and that I'd probably be back in that night. I was! But still not ready. I was exhausted at this stage having been up since 6am the previous day with contractions, though, I was to discover, nothing like as painful as they were going to get! They kept me in the antenatal ward (that part was NOT nice - like the twilight zone with lots of moaning Moms and just generally being left in the dark hearing all these noises and no hubby for reassurance all the while in pain with contractions). They broke my waters at 8.30am that morning and by 11am I was in deilvery begging for the epidural. Once I got that I was happy out. I chatted with my midwives (I was so long I was there for a shift change!!) but they kept me informed at every stage as they had to take foetal blood samples twice when my baby's heart rate slowed. I got a top up of the epidural immediately when I requested it and finally at 6.15pm I was ready to push. My baby finally arrived at 6.50pm via ventouse. The doctor on duty was wonderful, explained the need for the ventouse and an episiotomy. They also called a paediatrician to be present to check my son due to the slowed heart and the long delivery. He was born perfectly happy and healthy at 9lbs 3oz. We were left in the room with a phone to ring family and friends and offered tea and toast and I was brought to my room. The midwives kindly kept the baby for the night to let me rest.
Our baby girl arrived at 8:32pm Thursday 20th Sept weighing 8LB 2.5ounces.. Started getting pains on Monday night and was having bloody shows so rang hospital and as I'm Rhesus neg and the shows were quiet bloody I went in and they kept me in. Got into bed at 10:40 pm and a woman in the bed across from me started praying and singing gospel songs on and off until around 5am at which time I lost the plot and went over and told her to stop, she ignored me so I went to the nurses outside and they told me to relax and have a bath they were great, when I came out a 6 they had my stuff moved to the next ward. Had to wait till 1pm to get the anti D injection and went home and slept like a log till 5am Tuesday morning. Contractions were coming every 10 mins and were quiet bearable so didn't go to hospital till noon and I was 0 cm's nearly cried and went home. Never stopped every 10 mins or so and at arrived back to hospital 4am when they were 5 mins apart. I was knackered at this stage case I couldn't sleep so I got Pethedine to help me relax which was great and went to bed untill 7am and hit the labour ward. Was only 2cm's at that stage so got EPI. I didn't explain to doc about a back injury I had as I was too tired and I was SORRY , he'd to stick me 3 times cause I have very ,I tight gaps from it so let them know of anything wrong with your back but I have to say once that kicks in it's like a gift from God. Within 5 mins I was pain free from then on, it was great Quiet enjoyed the day really and slept thru the contractions on the monitor great . They broke my waters at 8am and got the drip on and off as I was affecting her heart rate and by 7pm I was ready to push. Started at 7:40 and at 8:32 she was here. The cord was around her neck and there was a lot of maconium so I 'd to get her out quick at the end so I had an episiotomy , but not as bad as you think, I'm fine now 4 days on , you need to shower after every pee to keep it clean once your clean your grand . breast feeding went great and my milk is in now so shes sleeping 4 hrs already. Start to finish a wonderful experience and I'm enjoying every minute of her and watchin DH with her is just a joy, look forward to hearing your stories when it's you turn |
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Women's Stories
AIMS Ireland has asked women to submit to us the story of the birth of their child so that we could share it with you, our readers . We would like to sincerely thank all of the women who have submitted their stories to us. We have enjoyed reading each one and we hope our readers do too.
info@aimsireland.com or jene@aimsireland.com or post it to us: AIMS Ireland 12 Bride St Loughrea Co Galway |
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